The situation Betty and I are (were) in is quite common; it's just that same sex couples never had the choice to marry before. Marriage is important if you have children, and as I've said, if the older person has assets that can be passed along to the younger person when s/he dies. Or one person can collect a deceased spouse's Social Security or pension. But our case was really the opposite. I was the one with assets (not a lot!! but enough in a 401k to see me through the - most likely - 15 years that I will be without Betty) so I had to protect them. If someone needs to spend down for Medicaid it is better that they are legally single. And it is not just poor people who have to do this; most middle class people will eventually have to rely on Medicaid if they go into a nursing home or like Betty, need 24 hour home care. AARP advises that seniors who get involved in new relationships not marry for this very reason. If we had been married Betty would not have been considered eligible for Medicaid unless all my assets had been spent first.